Hey all,
As a last missive before the end of 2023 (gasp, shock, how did we get here, where did this year go, etc.), I wanted to talk about something authors and writers tend to not talk about, something they dance around and obsequiously reference in vague posts.
Not writing.
As in really, fully, not writing, not thinking about writing, no pen to page, no simmering idea on the metaphorical stove, just simply nothing.
It’s so fraught to ever say you’re not writing (because it has started to feel joyless or like a job (it is a job)). It feels like you’re failing the minute you admit it, that you’ve somehow revealed that you’re not a real writer or you don’t appreciate the work or whatever other nonsense hustle culture espouses. Sometimes you’re just tired.
I am tired.
I am tired after a year where I recovered from a motorbike accident, slowly regaining my ability to walk after twice weekly PT and countless moments of pain and struggle, and found a new job after being unceremoniously let go at the end of the year prior from what I thought then was my dream tech job. Where I finally finished the book of my heart that I started in 2020 and started to dream of in 2018, revising and revising it until it started to become something solid and real. And where I edited my next book (The Boyfriend Wish!), drafted and then did a ground up re-write of another book (my 2025 book 👀), wrote 3 proposals, and somehow through it all started a new job in the tech world. Not to mention some personal health struggles and life moments. Oh, and we moved.
Phew.
All that to say that once I turned in my last deadline at the end of November, I decided to take a break. A real one. I have not been writing on my time off and it’s been hard to stick to because I feel obligated to write, even when I know I serve my work better by becoming full again, because I feel like I’m doing something wrong.
I’m not. Writers do not have to write everyday. They do not have to write every week. They can take breaks and live the lives they write about and replenish their souls after life comes too quickly at them.
I think as creatives we believe the spigot turns off, runs dry, if we stop. But sometimes the tank just needs to fill up again (sorry for the mixed metaphors, it’s just the way my brain works) before it can run. And that can take one day, one week….or a lot more time.
For once, I’m allowing myself to get there slowly. Fully. At least until the next deadline hits.
As a writer who has basically not taken a break since 2017, this is a revelation. Also, it’s tough. Tough to trust that my ideas will not dry up and wither away on the vine. Tough to believe that the words will still be there when I return.
But I do believe in the words and better than that, I believe in myself. And if you’re here in this same space as me, welcome. You’re in good company.
So, see you all in the new year. You’ll hear a lot more from me as we ramp up to the release of THE BOYFRIEND WISH (out 2/13/2024! and here’s the preorder campaign link to submit your receipts), but until then, I’m off. And hopefully you are too. I wish us all rest and replenishment for the rest of 2023. A mini-season of hibernation before the arrival of 2024.
Happy holidays and happy new year everyone! See you on the flip side.
Cheers,
Swati